I am Irked By…
The first of many things that irk me: People who own too many cats.
Let me start by saying if you like cats, or if your friends like cats and you agree with them at times, that is just great. Go for the gusto. Like those things all you want. All I’m saying is that I do not, and maybe, when I’m done what I’m doing you’ll hate what I hate too.
To begin people who like cats have a generally catty personality.
Perhaps it’s the proximity to the cats that brings this on. Or perhaps they
gravitate towards cats because of similar things liking similar things. Fat
people seem to gravitate towards each other, maybe by means of gravity, large
masses and the like. Stupid people seem to couple and cohabitate with other
stupid people. Similar instances arise among the poor. Nonetheless I do not
enjoy cat people because they are reminiscent of cats, another thing I do not
Proviso: cats irk me. Cats are bad. They are incapable of joy. They cannot
love you. They love what you do for them. As soon as the canned meat supply,
belly rubs and places to scratch, spit up and shed dry up that cat is out the
door. Hence the term catting around (going from man to man upgrading each time,
see “monkey-bar dating”). Cats will also fuck any other cat and bear
many kittens which are too cute to drown. Cats will also lie upon a baby’s face
and kill it. This is either because babies are a rival for a family’s love and
attention, or because cats generally hate humans and can only kill us when
we’re young and weak. Observe how a cat will eat its owner once they are dead.
It happens. So to recap, cats use you until you are weak and then either move
on or kill you.
Now my irking by those who enjoy cats. First they defend these natural
predators. They will adamantly defend these animals. It is not that they are
the allies of my enemy. That is their choice and I’m ok with it. But the
self-delusion that they believe these demon creatures can be beneficial to
them. Self-delusion is amazing and infuriating. That someone can believe
something which is so very much against their best interest is the most irksome
trait someone can have. No matter the evidence against their actions and
beliefs they will fervently hold to those beliefs like grim death. It is that
they are so harmful, that to be without them would be like taking a knife from
their leg, they would bleed out on the carpet and their fractured mind might
not form together again. It’s the same as women in destructive relationships
where they carry a useless man-boy around. Or a parent who won’t make their
child move out after they’re 25. Or a meth addict. These all irk me to a
similar degree, they’re just more serious topic than Cat ladies.